A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.
“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”
Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.
My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.
“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”
Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.
“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.
What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.
Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.
And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?
I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.
Lets have a dystopian future movie where none of the actors are white
Not a single one
There’s just no white people and not a single character questions it
Watch how quickly people notice and get pissed off
but wouldn’t it be better to put one white extra in the far background of a huge crowd shot for a few frames, so we could point to them every time someone gets pissed off?
You wear too much makeup.. Makeup you clearly don't need to be pretty... It's been said, my job here is done
You’re under the assumption that I wear makeup to be “pretty” when in reality I just want to let the world know that I am in fact an Amazonian warrior goddess that will snap a man’s neck between my thighs and keep walking. There’s something about red lipstick and perfectly pointed eyeliner that does that. I mean, I’m a warrior goddess without or without makeup—it’s what on the inside that counts, after all—but since it’s not acceptable in modern society to walk around in Wonder Woman armor and carry a sword, I have to opt for subtler approaches.
So while this message was probably written with some intention to help me come to my senses and realize my inner beauty, I posit this idea: that I know I’m pretty, and maybe just maybe I really like wearing makeup. I don’t believe in “too much makeup.” There is no such thing as too much because every bit of makeup on my face is put there for a purpose. The purpose: because I want it there.